A CULTURE OF SIN

Its a city of sinners that we live in. Its a world of hypocrisy.

Here's an epidemic that has plagued our hearts, infested our souls and the infection of it is exuding out of every crevice of our being. We are filthy to the last atom of our existence. But we are pious. "More" pious than our neighbours, better humans than our fellows, a bigger persons than our companions. Its a truth that we all know in our hearts that we in fact are on the right path, however deflected from the right and however blind to the truth we maybe.We are humans, after all.

My questions are not as soul searching and enlightening as the one's Iqbal asked Allah in "Shikwa".  But my questions are not any less important. There is a giant question mark hanging inside my head, swinging slowly, creaking a little, sometimes making small tick tock noises like a clock that sound like "liar liar" to me. But I am as oblivious to those questions as I am to the answers that would satisfy this search for the truth. 

Its a burden living in oblivion, mind you.

I walk in the world, my world, where everyone is a believer. Yet nobody believes in the goodness anymore. Its a world where every evil is considered to be a symbol of pride. I am finding a way to repent, I cannot find a way. They wont let me have a way, they want to strangle me with the strings of my evils and feed me to the welcoming hosts of vultures. But I am like everyone else, I lie and escape, every time. I am like everyone else, I find it easier to just keep doing the wrong than to find a way out, to meet the world's critical gaze and tell them, they are wrong.

My lies have made me a coward.

In the truest sense of the word, its a culture of sins. This culture promotes the culture of music, of rock to the level that anyone without it is considered an outsider. Indeed, what is more compelling and alluring than the mystery of being an outsider? Everybody wants in. I want out. Find me a way.

But even Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala doesn't change the condition of a person who doesn't want to change. 

We talk hours without a single useful word leaving our mouths. We sit there, leisurely and "bitch" about others when we ourselves are no better. We fall for the wrong people, in the wrong ways, in a world that takes "falling for" always in the same way. And when we hurt ourselves, we drown our hurt in the blasting shrieks of someone who has no hereafter anyway. We forget our true calling and we are lead onto a path that was never meant for anyone to tread on.

Individually, we all are wonderful, loving people. But its the company that makes us who we are. Like the man standing in a mob gains strength from any wrong idea  of his bystanders, we add up in the vices of our friends. Why do we do that? Why do we support someone who is clearly on the wrong side of the argument
just because he is our friend?

Why is it so hard to break this culture? How hard is it to say no?