This is the first ever guest blog hosted by me. Yayy me!
And I feel ABSOLUTELY thrilled *and honoured* to introduce Maryam Ayub, a fellow blogger, to you guys.
Well, most of you may already know her.
Maryam is .. umm.. straight forward, I would say. And a very strong feminist.
She writes from the heart and with a wit that I cannot hope to acquire. She is like a real life Burqa Avenger.
She is bold.
She is cute.
She is very, very talented.
And she doesnt know that I owe her Rs 40/-
Haha oops.
Not only she has been a very active contributor to KemUnited, but also her own personal blog is a thriving place for a fresh and truthful view point of life.
And to my own sharmindagi, unlike me, her stuff has been published in Smash, Kemcol, Dimensions and Al-Hilal.
She writes at maryamayub.wordpress.com and kemunited.com/search/label/Maryam%20Ayub
I proudly say that today's post in safe hands.
Over to you Maryam!
Dark, Light, Fat, Thin , Tall , Short. Why can't we let these adjectives just be adjectives?
If I pass by and somebody wants to point me out, they'll probably say that "look there's is Maryam. The short one on the right side. No not that short one " (that's my other friend) , " the chubby/ slightly fat one "
( I am writing slightly here because that's how I like to use the word fat if I am forced to use. Don't imagine me as a 50 kg "fat" girl ) .
The thing is I am perfectly fine with this even if I feel uncomfortable temporarily. I obviously can't be recognised by saying the tall one or the thin one. ( In my particular case there's an obvious ID point but that's something unrelated to current topic)
But I have recognised over time that tall , thin and fair have became more than adjectives. They have become "good adjectives " while the " short, fat , and dark " have become bad adjectives. And over the years I have come to abhor the word "fat" in most scenarios so much so that I prefer to use the very clinical "obese" for someone who the other people would describe as "very fat" . I have also starting to detest the word thin because that's what people want ideal girls to be. Not healthy. Not normal. Not even happy at times. But thin. Seriously the words fat and thin have become second and third in my list of ugly adjectives. The first ofcourse is " ugly. "I have never met an ugly person in my life. I doubt I will ever. At least physically. Though probably I will meet the person who I'll classify as ugly if he/she uses the word ugly to describe people's physical appearances.
I am short . And I do think in Pakistan girls taller than 5.6" should avoid heels and under 5" should avoid flats in functions if they want to appear more normal and not destroy their friends' pictures. But I rebelled very early against my mom's no "too flats" (shoes with practically just soles )rule for me. I have become enough comfortable with myself that I don't want only heels to be constant part of my life. Even 1 inch ones.
Same is with dark and fair. I have a sister who is darker than me. And I have a sister who's fairer than me. (To be fair it can change depending upon who is more sun-burnt) . I have a friend who's skin colour reminds me of glowing / golden bronze and I have a friend who's color some people would classify as milky-White. So one is darker and the other is fairer . What's wrong with saying that? Nothing. As long as you are just describing . Not judging . Never judging. Although it's becoming increasingly difficult with all the fairness creams ads.
The thing is we have to reclaim these words. And I have to learn to stop hating them. They are just words. We are the ones giving them too much power. We have to start using them as they were meant to be. Adjectives to describe nouns. Not to judge them . And certainly never to hurt them. Let's reclaim our adjectives.
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