ASSALATU KHAIRUM MINAN NAUM

I had promised myself I will not post until the end of my exams

This is not the first time I have broken a promise to myself

It's quite routine to be honest.


Do I feel guilty about it?


Then again, how often do we really feel guilty about something?



Have you ever broken someone’s heart and then cried yourself at the damage you have done to someone’s soul?


Have you ever taken someone’s place, anywhere, probably in someone’s life and then realized the uprooting you have done? Have you ever despaired for the poor departed?


Probably not.

Why should I care when I am healthy and happy?



Have you ever missed a meeting with a person, who called you a million times to meet up and then felt guilty about it?


Maybe at first. A little.

But of course you did apologize and then all will fall back to place.


Imagine that the person called you up again and this time around, you really cannot refuse since well, the last time was your fault.


You make the appointment and then completely forget about it when the day comes.


Now you must really be in trouble huh?


But despair not, your friend has a big heart.

He moves up the date of the meeting again.

And again

And again


Until you are so guilt stricken that you not only meet up but also make up for the mistakes you have made


By being more attentive

By listening more intently

By being a better friend than you already were


Do you see a pattern here?


How can you not?


Your “friend” calls you persistently

Everyday

Five times a day


You don’t respond

You don’t acknowledge the ring

You don’t nod or shake your head


You just don’t care


How can you not?


I do not intend to impart a “holier than thou” lecture

I am not that kind of person


Allah maaf kren


But why is it that if you ask a 8 year old kid what is Salah?

He will tell you the Hadith that Salah is the difference between a Muslim and a Non Muslim.


Is that kid wiser than we are?

Has he seen more than we have?


Does he need Salah more than we do?


It’s sadder than we realize

How we prioritise our worldly relations over the one true relation we have


What are we, if not disloyal?


What are we really?


I know a lot of people that I am going to mention would probably be reading

I must tell you that I am not criticising

I would never do that


But there came a time when in a gathering, at dawn, we sat in a bunch

Of muslims and non-muslims together


There came Azan

And life moved on the same for both the Muslims and the Non Muslims

No one budged

No one Ran towards Salah

No one Ran towards Success


where is the restlessness?

Where is the chaos?



That was the day when I realized the truth in the words I was taught as a kid


Salah is the difference


Where is the difference now, I ask?




We lie on our beds, at dawn


Assalatu khairum minan naum


Assalatu khairum minan naum


we wink and doze off again


We are the level of indifference


It's a little step that counts


And after all we do

After all the times that we ignore His calls

After all the chances we miss out on, of his offer to talk to Him

Of telling Him what makes you happy

And what makes you sad

Why is your life a mess

And when will it be better


We stand so proud

And yet so broken

How do we even find the words to complain that we are in fact sad and alone?


I am lonely of my own making.